Monday, December 29, 2008

the midst

we are in the midst of a world in union and the separation of thought. do we see an image, or do we exist in the moment? there is no outside nor is there a tangible inside, yet we make this and it has somehow come to exist as our world of thoughts. there is a dance in which we circle round and round till we come back to the place where we began. humanity is the essence running through all of our veins, so why call others by a name? if we must use a name, just call you me; and know that I am you. love is like the transcendent blue sky, ideas are merely clouds forming and dissipating in the clear blue sky. the clear blue sky is always present and never denies the clouds from forming, yet when the clouds must leave the sky is never holds on. be the sky and let the misty places pass of their own volition. be as the unborn essence of your original existence within the timeless grace of the dance.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

christmas 2007

two thousand five hundred and sixty three years ago- a sage appeared who vowed to save us from this state of dis-ease and life’s seeming un-satisfactoriness. now, for eighty generations teacher after teacher, student after student, has passed on the obvious truths of this instruction. the simple and the profane, the obvious and the hidden, what must we do to awaken, from our sleeping malaise? we merely are conduits of the eternal truth, if we have awoken to the eternal truth, the realization that my life is not my own leads to the understanding that I must help to ferry across all sentient beings for there is no separation of my self. there is nothing special in awakening to this moment, yet the awakening is beyond thinking and beyond our thoughts. jesus said to his disciples; “through me life can be gained, only through my life can union with God be assured!” what is this teaching of mysterious wonder and uncertainty? we have come to this life with no possessions and no ideas to be achieved. why do we now wish to pervert the procession and corrupt it with our thoughts?

winter solstice

jesus was born in spring not during the winter solstice which is celebrated by us. legend becomes story and the story becomes fact, but we must realize that within the realm of the truth, this season is about love. love between us and ours, love between life and us, love between the present moment and the realization that we can always become a better person. so try, try, try, for ten thousand years to be the best that you can ever be.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

what is a belief?

what is a belief? for we hold them so tightly that we are willing to cause the most inhumane suffering for them. we attach and we hold and then we separate ourselves from the brilliant love that shines and yet we are blind to its brilliance.. why is this so? we don’t want to connect to our own self made suffering, we would rather blame it on the most convenient thing that appears. we are love, please touch it now. we are compassion, please look in the mirror and acknowledge your own pain. we are teachers, please learn the lessons being presented. and most of all, just know that love is ultimately all there is.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Beyond Ideas

beyond ideas of right and wrong, beyond the essence or the very edge of our thinking, lies the nature of our very existence. should we come with an idea, we should gently let it go, should we come with an expectation, we should kindly yield to this moment. I came to Zen full of suffering and pain, and through the gentle guidance of our master I have found peace. it is now time for each of us to learn how to be the gentle giant of a man he is, and how to guide in his shadow and support his great legacy for the generations to come.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

silver and gold

silver and gold shimmering silver moon, sparkling white clouds. hiding—then illuminating then highlighting the glowing silver orb. what life lives in eclipse of yellow sun and silver moon. one reflects the other, but which one gives life? does the sun give life to the moon, or does the moon reflect life into the sun? in this life only one choice do we have. let go— silver light reflects from the golden source. silver and gold are one and the same.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Suzuki Roshi

green mountains and blue sky, ancient sequoias stand like sentinels along a meandering creek. deep in the forest moss and lichen cover the trees, a carpet of leaves offered below my feet. wild turkeys roam in a small intimate group. a family of deer graze just up ahead. down the trail, to the right— stands Suzuki Roshi’s stupa. offer incense, then wait just maybe an hour or so. a long time ago Roshi said: “we die and we do not die, I think this the correct understanding.” then I realize, like a drop of water he has returned to the river. Roshi asks me quite softly, “are you a drop of water, or have you entered the stream?” my answer is quite simple, “how may I help you?” because, of course; this river runs through each one of us— in an unending flow.
written during a solo retreat at Sonoma Mountain Zen Center thanks to my friend Jakusho Kwong roshi