I have been debating (with myself) ha ha ha, about posting this particular poem but I think that a few of you may have the fortitude to actually read the entire poem (it is extremely long) and hopefully your may find some inspiration from it. Please understand that I wrote this many years ago when a lover of mine was many thousand miles away and I was on chat with her. This is what I wrote while on Video Chat with her and it is not edited (except where I misspelled a few words) so it is a stream of consciousness that appeared in this moment many years ago. Be prepared if you embark on this journey, because it captures something unique and opening. I am also warning you that this is a very intimate look into my life, so be kind if you choose to comment on its content.
beauty can only be defined
through your subtle features
and deep dark eyes
and flowing black hair
the soft slope of broad shoulders
revealing the softest golden skin,
a breeze in the flowing hair
of timeless goddess’s
who have come and gone
but left such a sweet fragrance
of love upon the lips
of every person
who falls so deeply in love
that the inside world
and outside world
merge into meaningless background.
dreams of lovers long since passed
like sweet memories of a passion
that has no beginning
and knows no end.
these dreams spring from this present reality
of life and love and presence
for to see her with hair flowing
in the breeze of loving autumn’s fragrance
just as the plum blossoms
float on the breezes of spring,
it is a rebirth
it is a coming home
to your lover who patiently waits
for your warm embrace.
this is the time
when I don't exist my love.
I am not here–
dochong is no longer,
there is no me–
there is no other–
there is no world–
there is no work–
there is no time or space,
there is only you and I as one–
one creature of perfection
that needs no words to express
the love and harmony of existence
that started before time was even an idea for God.
to invent the limitations of false ideas
and then transcending even the thoughts
I can only find you here in my sacred heart of hearts,
in my souls body house of timeless passion
this is all,
yes of course Namaste my dearest love,
je vous aime beaucoup mon petite chou chou, sil vous plais.
she bites her finger in passionate repose
and licks her lips in anticipation of a kiss
that must out of necessity wait,
yet is longed for like a cool breeze
on a hot summer’s day.
this passion is like a well spring of constant unfolding energy
it passes through these words and into the heart–
it transcends the limits of the space time continuum
to become here–
now–
beyond physics
we are truly connected.
the alchemists know only the desire to turn
the ordinary into something special,
yet the true treasure is already in his heart.
it is his love who waits in the desert
looking and longing at the empty horizon
hoping that soon, her lover will return
and then the completion that was once whole,
and then became two,
will once again be that perfect completion
of not one and not two–
not inside and not outside–
not feeling or desiring–
just a presence that cannot be defined
by any words known to humanity.
for words do not exist
that can describe the unknowable presence
of my nose touching yours
and my eyes so close to yours
that I see not just you
but me,
and the entire cosmos
seems to be deep in your passionate gaze,
and the dancing of soft breath
on my lips and face
and the pace of your breathing–
the coming in and out
is all that exists,
for there it is not a place
or a time
or a space
to be known,
it is pure experience
and this is what I long for each moment
of each day I wait for your return.
no better explanation of love has ever been written
not one single thought exists in these words–
they came directly from the soul
who was in the presence of God
so you should save these words
and we should share them
if we ever get a sour look on our faces.
the straps of the tiny top
which barely hides the golden skin
and reveals the soft flesh
of mounded breasts of the softest skin
the perfection of roundness and life giving motherhood
it is the connection of man to his mother
it is the connection of a mother to her son
it is the primal force for the beginning of new life
moving towards an independent existence.
for we all know
but we do not see
and your breasts draw me in
and your eyes hypnotize me
and your lips caress my soul
and then I know that I am with the mother goddess
I am also with the passionate Aphrodite of love
and then there is a shift,
the focus seems to expand out
and the center of the circle becomes larger
and starts to encompass more and more
until everything is there in your sweet body
which moves in time with mine,
and we are just breath breathing humanity
we are no longer limited by gravity
for this is all there is to life
truly alive
not me
jaan right now isn't.
this is also my love
my true self which has no name
not you
not me
not I
not us
not anything but
this presence.
some people never experience this state
it has taken a long time to be able to learn how to dwell here
and you take me here easily,
but know that I am extremely fragile in this state
any negative emotion will thrust me back
and sometimes it seems violent.
I will try to learn how to stay
and not let this happen–
the negativity pulls me out
fast
it’s like falling down a dark hole.
I am explaining something you don't understand
it’s what happened yesterday
but I needed to be here to explain it correctly,
no thoughts
just experience
I couldn't explain all of this from Paul's perspective
he doesn't know all of this
I am not a split person
but Paul doesn't enter here
that is silly,
for there is no devil nor is there a God
those are made up out of thinking
they are what we label those characters we see in ourselves.
I have never had a conversation like this honey
nor have I remained here in a conversation ever
so I don't know what will happen
obviously I a slipping back….
a smile is the brilliance of the universe
the gentle curve of arm
and breast
and nose
and mouth
mouth
the softness of flowing hair
the love that emanates from dark brown eyes
this is all–
smile
and the world is brightened
sparks fly forth and flash like lightening to blind me.
my one and only reality
this existence is like a new born baby
it needs to be nurtured to survive
with all the kindness we can muster
with all the compassion we can discover
then our lives will settle into a state
of presence
this is beyond love making
it is a place I want you to join me in
completely
my love
my all
just let go
of all ideas.
stop the process
slow the moon
allow the brilliance of this moment
to breathe us
just breath
just my lovers sweet face
in the shadows of a darkened room
she is only there for me
she only breathes for me
and I was born to be with her
to be merged
with her soul
with her heart
and her mind
I love this moment
it is so precious
this is our union
our joining together
no one can stop this
it was inevitable from before our birth
we have not choice
we are already complete now
no one can cast this asunder
for there is only this
just this
just like this
only like this.
arms behind head
I am making love with your soul now
your heart
my heart
beat together
not one heart
not two hearts
but together there is this
this presence which fills your soul
and softly and gently fills our rooms
and this union took place ten thousand kalpas
before we were born
and no one exists
and nothing is manifest.
manifest
but this
this has no name
don't try to name it
love,
love is a silly word,
not this–
not now–
just a word.
you–
me–
are constructs,
we are not constructs.
we are united in mind and soul
the body can follow later
we have entered
we cannot escape,
this we have not now
but when?
now is gone
present an idea
future doesn't matter
past is already gone
this
this is Namaste
pure
bliss
kind
gentle
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
no desire here
it already is there
let go
let go now
do it for me
stop the thinking
you can
focus on breath
only breathing in and out
with each breath I enter you
and you enter me
time is an idea
space is only a common construct
right now the space between our souls is less than one atom wide
feel me
let me in
now
give up to this
the universe was begun in this manner
it was before time
and god is already in your heart
you are god
god never existed anywhere else
breath
breathing
human
being
breath
breathing
god
being
breath
breathing
no outside
no opposite
neither man nor woman.
no space exists that could ever separate us
ever again.
just that smile
just your hands caressing your hair
not your hand
not my hand
god's hand.
this body house is the shrine for god's worship
this is the only temple that god ever created
and we have been worshiping there
which is here
not in or out
just the sacred shrine
of timelessness
no statues
no chanting
no incense
no teaching
no priests
but god is perfection
with our body house
our shrine of sacred passion
set free
of the bondage that society tried to invoke
this is gone.
god
this is worship
Dochong, it could be that you just washed love clean
of all its images
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