selfless devotion

a selfless devotion of purity, to care for another and understand that we are here to hold each other up, when life throws us curves we must bend with them or break. a great zen teacher once said, “we die, and we do not die.” the meaning can get lost in a sea of self deception. as we pass in and out of existence, what is it that we learn from the tears, from the sorrow, from the laughter and the happiness? the effort we put forth in our lives, the grace that we shine into this world, it is all that we can do, to know that to be human is all that we could ever be, but it is the kindness and the gentleness that sets us apart from the reactions that serve no purpose of good. thank you you inspire me to smile and knowing that you are there and caring for my well being is the most intimate gift any person can give to another.

my shoe is all broken

finally in china! leaving the bus at shenzhen we assemble outside the train station leading the group up the escalator my shoe is suddenly yanked off my foot and jams into the track people behind me panic the procession is stopped suddenly chinese officials try to remove my hapless shoe as they stare at my feet one shoe on and one sock. they begin to yell back and forth no one seems to know where the shutoff button is all their efforts are in vain as they begin to stare at me. leaving my mark on china––in desperation I abandon the green and white reebok. my broken shoe has taught everyone today riding on the escalator watch you step and mind the exit gap. Oct 4, 1996 Shenzhen, P.R.C.

Hurt, Johnny Cash

Johnny's daughter commented that she felt like he was saying good bye in ths video. Johnny Cash said, that yes he was saying that life was moving into the next dimesion.

Look guys, I love Trent Resner and Nine Inch Nails, but Johnny's honesty on this song will never be matched.

These spiritual window-shoppers

These spiritual window-shoppers, who idly ask, ‘How much is that?’ Oh, I’m just looking. They handle a hundred items and put them down, shadows with no capital. What is spent is love and two eyes wet with weeping. But these walk into a shop, and their whole lives pass suddenly in that moment,in that shop. Where did you go? “Nowhere.” What did you have to eat? “Nothing much.” Even if you don’t know what you want, buy _something, _ to be part of the exchanging flow. Start a huge, foolish project, like Noah. It makes absolutely no difference what people think of you. - Rumi

a valentine's poem

we meet, and sometimes we don’t know why. and then there are moments that define our lives and only years later do we understand the significance. some of our closest and most intimate moments involve a smile and a good laugh, while others find use in the midst of utter sorrow, yet it is that person who is there when we are either up or down who is always willing to share their hearts and a hug.

one flower

at breakfast Dae Kwang Soen Sa asks me to represent the west coast at the conference. “one word, one action, only that!” I want to read a poem but it’s more than one word. when I am finally announced at the altar I hold up one flower then hand it to Fo Yuen the abbot all I can say is “kwan-se-um bosal” later I ask Soen Sa “how come I was the only one to say one word and do one action?” Soen Sa said; “because you’re perfect.” of course, don’t check only smile.

October 10, 1996 Royal Regent Hotel, P.R.C.

un mun’s temple bell

touring un mun sa with Fo Yuen who rebuilt this temple creating a sanctuary beyond adequate expression removing a fading tarp he uncovers an enormous shattered bell this was un mun’s original temple bell the red guard smashed it during the cultural revolution the group sighs with sadness Fo Yuen perceiving our mood exclaims; “no problem! “ the new bell is made from solid brass the old bell was iron.” taking the group to the bell tower we bow to this new and enormous bell boooooonnnng........ boooooonnnng....... boooooonnnng....... reverberating through all space and time un mun is smiling again the red guard sits in the corner in utter disappointment

October 6, 1996 Un Mun Sa, P.R.C.

lunch at un mun’s diner

entering the dining room the abbot looks me in the eye and points to the seat next to him. how auspicious, how humbling seated with Dak Chun, Maha Ghosananda, Wu Kwang Soen Sa, Dae Kwang Soen Sa. the abbot Dak Chun is the perfect host attentive to all our needs Filling my bowl with food over and over and over I begin to wonder how to tell him I am full without offending him. Maha Ghosananda hold his hands with palms together “enough!” yes, of course it’s that simple the tea is refreshing as we wash our bowls. October 6, 1996 Un Mun Sa, P.R.C.

to breathe

to breathe in the universe; to exhale our very life unhindered. it is this play of life and existence that goes on between the nose and the lips each passing moment that we are alive. is the in breath a moment to perceive? no, it is just the passing of each nanosecond that we pay attention to life. is the exhalation a divine state of exaltation? no, it is just the letting go of what the universe truly gives for free! it is the passing of breath and the sojourn of time that you and I and this and that and all or nothing can become one in the simplicity of a moment in time where there is no this nor that and all that is here can be seen by you and not thought of as in a daze.